There’s a document circulating today that allegedly contains the list of words that the Pakistan Telecommunications Authority (PTA) wants banned from text messages. A few tipsters forwarded it our way after noticing that the list included phrases like “Rae Carruth,” “Neon Deon,” and “He Hate Me,”—all things that would be strange to text in a casual conversation in Pakistan because they all have a lot to do with the NFL.
Out of curiosity, we pulled up the infamous list of the more than 1,100 words that the NFL Shop once banned from use on personalized jerseys, and lo: It’s exactly the same as the list that’s been passed around for Pakistan’s censorship. This hypothetically presents a terrible conundrum for Pakistan’s biggest Deion Sanders fan.
![My name is [REDACTED - will henceforth be recognized as ‘Bishop’] and I am writing on behalf of [REDACTED - will hencefoth be recognized as ‘The Company’]. With the recent passage of the 2257 United Sea of Tranquility Arms Control Act, The Company is no longer permitted to contract designers to concept its weaponry. The USoT public has unfortunately decreed that visually pleasing weaponry is to be frowned upon. However, with the recent discovery of limited time travel and the USoT’s failure to regulate it, we are able to seek help from your time. The Company asks that you create a public forum to collect original concepts for our energy-based weaponry. Without attractive arms, The Company has had a difficult time fulfilling military and civilian arms contracts. We expect that the USoT will pass time travel regulatory measures in one year, at which point I will likely no longer be permitted to collect submissions from the public forum you create. In order to keep time transmissions to a minimum, we ask that you, Alex Griendling, handle day-to-day operations of the forum. While we cannot directly reward you and your fellow designers for your collective efforts, know that any descendents of said designers will be aptly compensated in 2258.](http://garrettguillotte.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/scan_transmission.jpg)
